Questions Sunglasses Would Ask If They Could Talk

In the movies, they can take any inanimate object and bring it to life. In past years we have seen everything from toys to cars and airplanes brought to life with human characteristics and all the baggage that comes with them. Wouldn’t it be interesting if we could do the same thing with our sunglasses, but for real?

Olympic Eyewear a wholesaler of designer sunglasses based in Utah, says that the average person buys at least one new pair of sunglasses every year. That tells us a number of important things. First and foremost, sunglasses are so prolific that just about every adult uses them on a regular basis. Second, the fact that people are buying new sunglasses every year says they are either extremely vain or terribly careless.

So, what if our sunglasses could talk? Below is a list of questions they might ask. Maybe you can answer some of them yourself.

1. Why do you store me, unprotected, in the glove box?

Throwing the sunglasses in the glove box without any sort of protection is a quick and dirty way to scratch the lenses or break frames. And yet we all do it. They tumble around in there with the owner’s manual, insurance card, air pressure gauge, and a few leftover French fries from about a month ago.

2. Do you really think you’re that hot?

A lot of us would be challenged in our own perceptions of ourselves if our sunglasses could talk. Let’s face it, are we really as hot as our favorite models, actors, and sports stars? Not even in our wildest dreams. The thing is that designer sunglasses let us think we are. Maybe that’s good, maybe that’s bad. But a little perspective never hurts.

3. Do you even know what UV protection is?

We’ve all seen people wearing sunglasses that do not make any sense from an eye protection standpoint. Either the lenses are too small to fully cover the eyes, or they are barely tinted. It is enough to cause any self-respecting pair of sunglasses to sit up and ask, “Do you even know what UV protection is?”

In fairness, sunglasses don’t have to be as dark as night to offer UV protection. Still, any good pair of sunglasses comes with a tag and a number. That number explains how much UV protection the lenses offer. It is a number we should all be paying attention to.

4. Do you own a soft cotton cloth?

Sunglasses with scratches, if they could talk, might ask their owners whether they possess a soft cotton cloth or not. They might ask about being cleaned with napkins. A lot of people don’t know that things like napkins and paper tissues contain tiny fragments of wood that can easily scratch plastic lenses. The best way to clean sunglasses is with a little soapy water and a soft cotton cloth.

5. Just how replaceable am I?

It’s a good thing our sunglasses don’t have feelings. Why? Because for some people, sunglasses are as replaceable as underwear. None of us would like to find out from the boss that we are easily replaceable at work; perhaps our sunglasses don’t want to face that same reality either. Perhaps we should buy a new pair and hold onto them for as long as possible.

If sunglasses could talk, oh the things they might say. It turns out they can speak to a certain degree. How we feel about our sunglasses says a lot about what makes us who we are. What do your sunglasses say about you?